How To Fold A Fitted Sheet


Kelvinator Washer-Dryer Ad, 1957

Kelvinator Washer-Dryer Ad, 1957 (Photo credit: alsis35)

Today I got the pleasure of folding a fitted sheet and I thought I would enlighten the interwebz with my superb domesticity. You might want to have a paper and pencil handy so you can take notes. And of course, don’t forget – practice makes perfect!

Step 1: Leave fitted sheet in the dryer for a day after it’s dry. You want to make sure those wrinkles get nice and set.

Step 2: Stare at the fitted sheet as it’s wrapped in a ball in the basket. Try to devise a plan for folding said sheet with your eyes only.

Step 3: Go check facebook. You need more time to decide the best way to do this.

Step 4: Spread the sheet on the floor. Remember something that someone once said about trying to tuck the corners in the other corners, ending up with a nice flat folded sheet.

Step 5: Attempt the method in step 4. Curse profusely.

Step 6: Repeat step 3.

Step 7: Try simply folding the sheet like a normal sheet. Wonder why there are lumps in it. Pull three socks and a pair of underwear from the corners of the sheet.

Step 8: Re-fold the sheet.

Step 9: Put the disgrace of a folding job on the top shelf of the linen closet so no one will see it anyway.

I hope my helpful instructions make laundry time more productive and fun for you.

On a completely unrelated note, I realize that this blog has been abandoned for quite some time now. A combination of being obscenely busy with work and a lack of inspiration was the cause, and I apologize. Hopefully now that I’m on summer break, I’ll have more material and time to catch up.


About Facetious Firecracker

I observe the world and say what everyone is thinking, but is too afraid to say.

Posted on June 10, 2012, in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Yes. Who are the people who can do this? I just cram the wadded up ball of fabric into the back of the linen closet.

    • Actually, I do know someone who can do it. She is the ultimate goddess of domesticity. I, however, am the ultimate goddess of eating an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers covered in peanut butter in one sitting.

  2. This is why I don’t buy fitted sheets anymore. Sigh…

  3. I “learned” to fold fitted sheets from Martha Stewart Living magazine. I subscribed for several years for reasons I cannot articulate. Somehow it never looks as good when I do it as the picture in the magazine, even though I’m totally following the directions. It ends up looking pretty much like if I’d wadded it up into a ball, only it takes considerably longer. Call me for all your time management needs.

  1. Pingback: Folding Fitted Sheets « Reflections with Rhonda

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