Why My Freshly Pressed Experience Has Deceived You

I fear that most of you who are reading this don’t know what you’ve gotten into.

You see, most of you – I’m speaking to my dear subscribers – joined me this week in response to the post “What Every Music Teacher Wants You To Know.” And you see, that’s not a great representation of what this blog is. The featured post was tagged under “Education” and I’m sure you all expect this to be a teacher blog. It’s not.

“Well then, what is it?” you ask. Shhh. *strokes your hair* I will make it all clear in time, dear reader.

For some yet to be discovered reason, the WordPress gods smiled upon me on Monday and bestowed my very first blogging honor: Freshly Pressed. Of course, that’s what brought most of you here. Let me tell you what life on this blog was like before this week. It was lonely. Sometimes I would have conversations with my echoes. Even they didn’t care enough to read it. I abandoned the blog for many months, after accepting that no one besides my close friends would ever read it. When I came crawling back last month, there were cobwebs on my Stats page. I was down to about 12 hits per day.

I was feeling inspired and ready to write again. I had an idea about ranting about the sorry stereotypes of music teachers, so I clicked “New Post.” The website coughed up a tumbleweed and asked me if I was sure.

Me: Yes, I’m sure. Now give me the damn text box so I can write it.

WordPress: Ooh. Looks like someone’s feeling spunky today. Like anyone is going to actually read this drivel? It went really well for you the last 15 times.

Me: Ok, so it’s not going to become an international phenomenon. I get it. But my 25 or so music teacher friends will probably read it, and maybe even Like it on Facebook.

WordPress: Whatever. It’s not like you have anything else exciting going on here. Give it a shot. Your perseverance is adorable.

And so I published the post. I woke up Monday morning and opened my laptop. My email indicated 160 new emails. Wtf? I usually have about 6. They were all from WordPress. What the hell? I was even more baffled when I logged on here and saw about 43 new comments – more than I had received in all of my previous posts combined. I started to read them and responded to every one. About 10 comments down, I got my answer.

They were congratulating me on being Freshly Pressed.

For a second, I was convinced they were playing a cruel joke on me. My blog is a needle in the haystack of the blogging world. How could anyone think to find mine? After heading to wordpress.com, I realized it was true. There I was, front and center.

Naturally, this has been a glorious week (and for my stats) and I’ve been blown away by all of the kind comments and generous reblogs. I can’t thank everyone enough for reading and taking the time to click “follow.”

But, I feel that I have to come clean.

I’ve deceived you on our blind date. I’m not who I pretended to be. I write about potty humor. After all, my most recent post had the word “poop” in the title. I make fun of people – usually, myself. I tell stories about my family that no one should have to experience, but I do, so I feel that the least I can do is share them with you.

I hope that you all stick around and read anyway. Judging from my stats page, that’s not going to be the case.

Yeah, I know the number on top looks nice, but check out the views on all the other posts. I’m such a one-hit-wonder, I make “MmmBop” look good.

So, whaddya say? Can I have a second date?


About Facetious Firecracker

I observe the world and say what everyone is thinking, but is too afraid to say.

Posted on July 13, 2012, in Humor, Introspective and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 40 Comments.

  1. I got in just days before you hit it big. So… I count as an original fan.

  2. You know I’m sticking around. I too feel like part of your original posy. I found the post within hours of you publishing it. You said everything I have always wanted to say. And, of course the humor in the post even caught more of my attention. I love sarcasm and humor. So, you are stuck with me.

  3. I’m pretty sure after the FP deal, everyone feels like they’re just a one-hit wonder destined to fall back into the black hole of blogging anonymity like before. But rest assured that you’ll have at least one new reader (me) who’ll stick around because of your writing and not because I’m deluded into thinking your blog is about education. 😉

  4. younggypsyspirit

    I followed you because I like your writing style, “attitude ” if you will. Sorry but ya can’t get rid of me that easily.

  5. Pay no attention to the dip in your stats, totally normal after FP. Kind of anti-climatic like the last episode of Lost. But I will stick around for sure (I bet that really shocked you)

  6. MulledThoughtsandCider

    Don’t worry! I get excited when I see 10 hits a day. Still loving the humor, and going to be sticking around.

  7. Good, I like potty humor. Potty humored teachers need to stick together.

  8. I liked your music teacher post, but I am a huge fan of potty humor and making fun of other people. (Check out my blog…it’s what I do!) Anyway, in knowing that, now I am totally sticking with your blog! Carry on! 🙂

  9. I think I might be a special case. I didn’t read the post that got you FP’d but I did like the other posts you’ve made.

  10. I found your blog via your being FP’d, but I still crack up at all your other posts (even the one regarding poop). I wouldn’t have followed a teaching blog, so yours not being one was not at all a bad thing. If there’s anything I can appreciate, it’d be a sense of humor, and your blog is full of one. 🙂

  11. microcheesehead

    I have a horrible fascination with one hit wonders, and their B-sides, so I think I’ll stick around.

  12. You had me by your third paragraph. I’m sold.

  13. Definitely NOT one of your co-workers!

    I can’t read… but I do know how to type

  14. Well, I found you via the Freshly Pressed post, but I never ever follow a blog based on one of those, I always take the trouble to read a few posts first before following. So, you can count yourself followed by someone who likes your blog not just one post!

  15. I like to follow well-written blogs – yours is on that list! I chose to reblog because I write for parents of creative kids – and your Freshly Pressed post fit that bill. Nice to meet you! Looking forward to what you have in store!

  16. All of a sudden, I don’t feel all that cool anymore. Knowing that I clicked the “Follow” amidst the throng of some 4500+ views that you received makes me think that my notification MUST have gotten lost somewhere in cyberspace. xD
    But seriously, since the moment I visited Facetious Firecracker, I was immediately taken by its colorful word choices and innovative design (the flame-breathing cat is a wonderful touch) and I’ve already pretty much read through all your earlier posts.
    It’s been a pleasure meeting you! I can’t wait for your future posts!

    • Thanks, Han! I have to admit that I lost your name somewhere in the hundreds of notifications I’ve received this week. But, now that you’ve given me such sparkling reviews, I am checking out your blog right now.

  17. Well, I actually didn’t get to see the FP post, and I like this blog anyway! 😉 Now I’m gonna do a search for one of your potty humor posts. 😀

  18. I can totally relate to your FP experience, even the part about an out of the ordinary post getting the nod (mine was about my career too, which I hadn’t written about before the post that was Freshly Pressed). The experience was super exciting, but then sort of pressure inducing — people are actually listening to me now?!?! Do I have to keep writing about this?!?

    But the good news (and the bad news) is that they really aren’t listening. So just keep writing your fire-breathing cat writing and enjoy the tiny fraction who stick around.

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