Blogging counts as exercise, right?

At this time last year, I was on my way to gettin’ ripped. I was slathering myself with baby oil and doing dead lifts on a daily basis. Okay, that last part may have been an exaggeration, but I was working out with a trainer once a week and eating healthy foods.

Pro female bodybuilder Nikki Fuller performs a...

Not me. You know, in case you were confused. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last summer, I would go to restaurants with Husband and ask them to substitute cottage cheese for the fries. I paid twice the price of normal bread for fancy whole wheat bread. About three times a week, I went to the gym and worked out until my muscles trembled. For the first time in my life, I was able to run for more than 30 seconds without feeling nauseous. When people started talking about exercising, I actually had something to contribute, rather than listening awkwardly, as I had previously always done.

I wasn’t exactly looking different, but I felt stronger. Husband was amazed that I could push his new snowblower and that I could help him lift an engine without struggling.

Then school started again. And with that, came the time commitment of marching band.

At first, I was convinced I would continue my new lifestyle. I knew it wouldn’t be as easy as when I was on summer break, but I tried. I packed my workout bag the night before and brought it with me in the mornings. After school, I went to the gym instead of driving past the exit toward my house, and my beloved bed. I took the extra 10 minutes to change clothes, take off my jewelry, and put my hair up before working out.

Finally, I would get home, about 12 hours after leaving in the morning.

“What’s for dinner?” Husband would ask. “I’m starving.”

I would like to say that I whipped up a healthy dinner full of vegetables, whole grains, and lean meat, but by this point, I was beyond exhausted. So, the processed foods started creeping back into my diet. Gradually, the evenings at the gym became further apart. I told myself it was because my life was consumed with teaching band, and once marching season was over, I’d be back with a vengeance.

November came, and I hit the gym every day abandoned it completely. By March of this year, I hadn’t been there in five months. Husband finally started to demand that I cancel the membership because it was a waste of money. I put it off because canceling seemed like conceding that I was giving up. I told myself that once summer began, I would have the time and energy to restart.

Last week, I decided to see how out of shape I was. When I was working with the trainer, I could do about 20 consecutive push-ups. So, I got on the floor and braced myself.


I could barely lift my 100 pound frame one time. Apparently, I’m 20 times weaker than I was last July. And what did I have to eat yesterday? Pizza for lunch and Madagascar-shaped mac and cheese for dinner.

When school started last year, I finally had something interesting to say for What I Did Over The Summer. Somehow, I don’t think “I blogged and drank a lot of overly sugared coffee” will have the same effect this year.


About Facetious Firecracker

I observe the world and say what everyone is thinking, but is too afraid to say.

Posted on July 27, 2012, in Humor, Random Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. I freaking hate exercise, but I do it off and on. As in, work out four days in a row and skip the next eight months. What are those mysterious “endorphins” people speak of? I think they are a hoax, because they have never visited me once.

    • This describes my routine exactly. My Wii Fit likes to taunt me. “Hey there, what’s your name again? Oh, right! It’s just that I haven’t seen you in 256 days!”

      I love when people are like, oh, I feel so energetic after I exercise! You know what I feel? Freaking tired. And hungry as a horse.

      • Hahaha! I developed plantar fasciitis because of the friggin Wii! And then guess what happened? I couldn’t work out for like 5 months! I get ravenous when I exercise, too.

  2. You’re facing what most do – a priority issue. What really helps is if you start treating your training as a mandatory part of your life – like going for work, for example. I know this is vastly removed from all motivationl theory; but what you need is to get into a habit and stay there. The first two, three weeks are easy – but then most people can’t make the jump from “honest intentions” to “iron habit”. I hate going to the gym. But once I’m there in my workout routine, it just passes by. Once it gets a habit – and you shield that habit from bad influence, you’ll be able to make it.

    Obviously, husband asking you for a meal after a 12-hour-day isn’t really helping either. oO

  3. I feel your pain. I consider today a victory because I had an opened bag of potato chips by me and I didn’t consume the entire thing.

  4. Eh, who needs exercise? We’re all gonna die one day anyway! There, feel better? (Sorry lol) Besides, blogging is totally a great way to spend one’s summer. 😀

  5. You’re preachin’ to the choir! And I’m in the last row eating a donut.

    I’ve had years where I wouldn’t exercise at all…then I get back into a habit. Like the above commenter mentioned, it only works when I treat it like a habit, like going to work or brushing my teeth. This year, by some miracle, I’ve stuck to it and exercised four times a week for six straight months. I do feel better overall but I’m still tired all the time. And I haven’t lost much weight. I’m just maintaining. Being 41 sucks.

  6. Is there anything that you like to do for exercise? I had a membership that was eating a hole in my pocket, too, and I finally had to cancel it. But I found out that I actually LIKE running outside, yoga, and other class activities – having others to silently compete with helps me to get through it!

  7. Sometimes when I’ve spent eight hours in front of my computer, I walk down the stairs and walk back up again, then sit back at my computer. And the worrying thing is, in my silly little head I actually think I’ve done some exercise. You are not alone.

  8. That’s the annoying thing about our bodies….. it takes freaking long for it to work up to any decent amount of strength but takes about half the time to go right back to where it was before at ground zero. At least your brain gets some decent exercise with blogging.

  9. You know the thing that they call “runner’s euphoria”? That elusive mixture of endorphins combined with adrenaline, blah, blah, blah that makes you feel super awesome? Well, I think I’ve finally found it. I go running Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Runner’s euphoria is what I feel Tuesday and Thursday. 😀

  10. I used to go to the gym. I was so fit that I could work out through an entire movie in the cardio theatre. And then I got knocked up. Now my exercise consists of chasing Squish around the house, and my diet consists of whatever he left on his plate.

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