My love of singing. Also, a fart cartoon.

Before I discuss my intended subject, I feel that I need to address this:

Yesterday, someone found my blog with the search term “stories about sisters smelling each others farts.” I wasn’t sure what I’ve written that would cause my blog to appear in those results. So, I did what anyone would do, and searched for it myself. My blog didn’t appear on the first results page and I felt too creepy to look on the second page, so I just closed the tab and decided that someone was searching really deep for those fart smellers of sisterly love.

Half of you are searching for it right now, I bet. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

English: Treason!!! John Bull emits an explosi...

I’m sorry. When else would I get to use a photo like this? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I probably just lost 25 of my subscribers.

My original reason for posting today, though, is to discuss my love for singing. I’ve been singing for as long as I can remember, but mostly I sing alone. Before I started driving, it was difficult to sing alone and there were multiple times when I was caught. Usually, the person who caught me singing is my younger sister and she would always burst out laughing because I was typically belting out a particularly embarrassing guilty pleasure type of song. It was always a pretty mortifying experience. It usually went something like this:

The year is 1999. My 13 year old self is locked in my room with my boom box. My sister is down the street with a friend and my mom is at work an Al-Anon meeting. “Vision of Love” by Mariah Carey is blaring from the cheap speakers. I’m belting out the high note with sappy vibrato and my hands outstretched….

English: Mariah Carey performing live in Las Vegas

I imagined it appeared similar to this.(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The door bursts open and Sister falls into the room, cackling and clutching her stomach. My friend from down the street is with her, also giggling. Gasping for breath, they tell me they’d been listening outside the door for the past few minutes.

“Shut up!” she says to me. “No one wants to hear you sing!”

My first car brought with it a place where no one would discover my singing sessions. Unfortunately, my first car also had really junky speakers. I used to crank up my Evanescence CDs so the music’s volume would match the volume of my voice. Within a few months, I had blown out one of the rear speakers. Husband (who was Boyfriend at the time) replaced my speakers for me, though the speakers were probably worth more than the entire car. I think you can guess what happened to the new speakers.

After a few years, that car drove its last mile and I got a new car. It had a 6-CD changer in the trunk, so I had variety in my solo karaoke repertoire! That car didn’t last long, though, and neither did the next. I currently have a car with a fairly nice factory sound system. There’s a subwoofer in the trunk and it certainly has great sound quality. My in-car concerts have never been better.

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make in a long-winded and round-about way is even though I’m a music teacher (as discussed in my most popular post), I get very nervous about singing in front of people. The better I know the person and the more intimate the setting, the more scared I get. More than once, Husband has asked me to sing for him and I vehemently refuse. To this day, I have never sung for him by myself. It’s a completely irrational fear because the people I’m most afraid to sing for are the people I know are the least likely to judge me or put me down.

I have no problem singing for large crowds. In high school, I played Laurey in Oklahoma and naturally, I did a lot of solo singing during rehearsals and for crowds of about 500 people during the performances. During college, my friends and I loved to go to Karaoke Night on Mondays. On occasion, I would win tanning gift certificates, which I would give to my friend who wished to submit herself to cancerous rays. I even sang for my school a couple years ago during the talent show with another teacher.

So, how about you? Do you sing in the car? In front of other people?

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone. My mother is always wonderful material for my blog, so you can expect a hilarious recap of my turkey day later this week.


About Facetious Firecracker

I observe the world and say what everyone is thinking, but is too afraid to say.

Posted on November 21, 2012, in Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. My family is out of town for the holiday, so I am sitting at my computer writing words and singing songs. Loudly.

  2. I feel the same way as you. I sing in my car all the time and very rarely any where else (except for recently). My husband is the one that I hate to sing in front of the most. Whenever he asks me to sing something I blurt out an excuse and look for the nearest escape route.

  3. Does this mean we aren’t going to talk about farts???

  4. Honestly, the MAIN reason I enjoy driving is because I can sing my little heart out. Seriously, I think that’s the only reason I drive…MUSIC!
    Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. I saw “fart cartoon” and hit “like” automatically. I do not sing in front of anyone except my pets, and that’s only because they judge my sore lack of talent mostly in silence. I don’t have a shred of musical ability, but both of my parents can sing and play piano by ear. I’m looking forward to your turkey day recap!

  6. Singing in the car when I’m driving alone is totally why I got my driver’s license. I just didn’t figure it out until later. I’m rather sad I wasn’t blessed with a singing voice though since I apparently have perfect pitch. Ah well, you can’t have everything, right? Happy Turkey Day!

  7. You can never fail with a good fart joke! I like to play my guitar and sing in front of small groups of people, I’m what I like to call a campfire guitarist, just enough skill to entertain a small crowd of not too critical people. I’ve sung in front of groups of maybe 50 people before, but only briefly, one or two songs, never any kind of long performance. So much of it is just doing it over and over and eventually it doesn’t bother you anymore. I used to be uncomfortable singing in front of my family like you mentioned. That’s probably more common than you think but eventually I just got over it by doing it. So, sit down and sing a song for your husband… the first time will be hard, the second time easier, the third time… etc., etc… he’ll appreciate it!

  8. I’m same as you. I love to sing. I’ve sang solos all throughout high school and college. I have no problem getting up in front of a large crowd. But I have never, ever sung in front of my husband on purpose. Sometimes he’ll catch me singing in the shower (last week I was belting out a 10,000 Maniacs song…) and I get so embarrassed. When I get in the car alone? it’s go-time, baby. I crank that music and sing until my voice is hoarse. It’s like a mini-vacation for me.

  9. I am a music teacher, and I just don’t take myself seriously enough to sing in front of other people. It takes a high level of earnestness, and I just don’t have it. Singing is my thing, though! I do it all day, every day for my students!

    I also enjoy a good joke about gas. I performed a lovely rap about it with my fifth graders during bus duty this week. Oh, golly…probably not very professional…

  10. I Play The Trumpet!

    not gonna lie I had to Google it and you should be happy to know that you’re in the number 2 spot now (pardon the unintentional pun ;-).

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