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51 million people are paying for cartoon farms. And they’re allowed to vote.

This morning afternoon when I woke up and logged into Facebook, I was greeted by a notification:

“[Anonymous friend] has invited you to play Farmville2.”

I navigated to my Apps Requests page to clear the invitation and saw that she had invited me to play this stupid game 29 TIMES. Yes. Twenty-nine. Times. Somehow, in the last 28 times when she received no response, her immediate reaction was to click “invite” one more time. At this point, I sort of felt bad for her. Was this like the time in middle school when the popular girl was having a party and she held onto the fleeting hope that she might be invited, just this once? It also made me recall the time a few years ago when one of my students friend requested me on four separate occasions. Shortly after that, I became unsearchable on Facebook.

facebook engancha

FaceCat creeps on his high school acquaintance. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Apps page of Facebook is the one place I typically avoid at all costs. I find 99% of the games and other apps to be a complete waste of time and brain cells. Unbelievably, I learned that there’s an app called “Obama 2012” while I scrolled down the page. Seriously? Yeah, because an app is going to convince my staunchly Republican family members to vote for Obama. Right.

There was a tab at the top of the page where I could view the “Top Grossing” apps. Hold the phone. People pay actual money to play these inane games on Facebook? You’ve got to be kidding me. Why would I pay money to be entertained when all I have to do is view the status updates or “jobs” of some of the people I keep on my friend list for the sole reason of entertainment? High school acquaintances are great fodder for that particular area. If we haven’t spoken in the last month either online or in person, chances are, I’m laughing at you, not with you. Feel free to use the “unfriend” link as you wish. Based upon my suggested friend list, some of them have already realized this on their own.

It’s hard to believe they didn’t want me to be able to view such classic updates anymore, such as:

“Gonna go to work now.”

“Bby daddy be here n a few n i gotz 2 get bby grrl up n dresed. y do i have so mch drama. u no i hat teh drama.”

“Home from work now. Going to bed.”

“Awake.”

“Going to work again.”

But, back to the money thing. Apparently, there are millions of you on the interwebs who spend your precious, hard-earned money on this:

 

It was under the “Top Grossed” tab. 51 million people play this game and I’m going to assume 90% of them couldn’t tell you one real fact about farming. They sit in their 500 square feet apartment, surrounded by noise and buildings, and harvest their cartoon crops. But it’s 3D! I can almost feel the adorable animals through my screen!

Here’s an idea. How about you get a REAL adorable animal, like this one?

 

She’ll keep you so entertained, you won’t have time to send me 29 requests to play Farmville2.

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I can take 22 Justin Biebers in a fight, for your information.

What I should be doing:

  • Laundry (Students tend to notice when you’ve worn the same shirt three Mondays in a row)
  • Dishes (I had to use a mixing bowl and serving spoon for my breakfast last week)
  • Working out
  • Cooking a nice [healthy] domestic dinner
  • Stopping for groceries on the way home
  • Organizing my closet
  • Repainting my nails (Husband has a thing about bare nails. Don’t ask.)
  • Researching grad school…and actually taking classes

What I’m actually doing:

  • Making a frozen pizza for dinner
  • Checking facebook
  • Reading about how many Justin Biebers I could take in a fight on The Oatmeal
  • Drinking strawberry “lemonade”
  • Wearing sweatpants
  • Listening to Weezer

I really should get on that laundry soon, though. I dropped a vanilla wafer covered in pumpkin dip onto my pants today and it looked like I had baby crap smeared on my thigh. It probably gave the high schoolers something to talk about.