Today I got the pleasure of folding a fitted sheet and I thought I would enlighten the interwebz with my superb domesticity. You might want to have a paper and pencil handy so you can take notes. And of course, don’t forget – practice makes perfect!
Step 1: Leave fitted sheet in the dryer for a day after it’s dry. You want to make sure those wrinkles get nice and set.
Step 2: Stare at the fitted sheet as it’s wrapped in a ball in the basket. Try to devise a plan for folding said sheet with your eyes only.
Step 3: Go check facebook. You need more time to decide the best way to do this.
Step 4: Spread the sheet on the floor. Remember something that someone once said about trying to tuck the corners in the other corners, ending up with a nice flat folded sheet.
Step 5: Attempt the method in step 4. Curse profusely.
Step 6: Repeat step 3.
Step 7: Try simply folding the sheet like a normal sheet. Wonder why there are lumps in it. Pull three socks and a pair of underwear from the corners of the sheet.
Step 8: Re-fold the sheet.
Step 9: Put the disgrace of a folding job on the top shelf of the linen closet so no one will see it anyway.
I hope my helpful instructions make laundry time more productive and fun for you.
On a completely unrelated note, I realize that this blog has been abandoned for quite some time now. A combination of being obscenely busy with work and a lack of inspiration was the cause, and I apologize. Hopefully now that I’m on summer break, I’ll have more material and time to catch up.
What I should be doing:
- Laundry (Students tend to notice when you’ve worn the same shirt three Mondays in a row)
- Dishes (I had to use a mixing bowl and serving spoon for my breakfast last week)
- Working out
- Cooking a nice [healthy] domestic dinner
- Stopping for groceries on the way home
- Organizing my closet
- Repainting my nails (Husband has a thing about bare nails. Don’t ask.)
- Researching grad school…and actually taking classes
What I’m actually doing:
- Making a frozen pizza for dinner
- Checking facebook
- Reading about how many Justin Biebers I could take in a fight on The Oatmeal
- Drinking strawberry “lemonade”
- Wearing sweatpants
- Listening to Weezer
I really should get on that laundry soon, though. I dropped a vanilla wafer covered in pumpkin dip onto my pants today and it looked like I had baby crap smeared on my thigh. It probably gave the high schoolers something to talk about.